Please read through the following documents that have been flagged by Lumon Industries' proprietary auto-flag software.
Mark any that you deem to contain inappropriate content, such as references to fraternization, hostility and improper conduct, spreading classified information outside of a given department, or any hidden messages, notes, or maps.
Additionally, send any official documents that require rewrites for clarity or tone-deafness to your supervisor.
Lumon Industries is committed to accessible design. Consistent bright lighting and open-plan workspaces help our differently-abled employees feel welcome here. Our 'gridless grid' department layout aids in navigation to your department. Our state-of-the-art email system prevents the need to travel to other departments. Our Accident Team is watching 24/7 for any slips, so we can get you to a medical professional as soon as possible. At Lumon Industries, we care about all of our employees.
LLRRLRLR flickering light? animal shit? or human?
LLRRLRRR broken light. running water. dead fish (id species + find location of Lumon + dig out?)
TO: Administration
The latest batch of melons have been determined to be sentient. Do not tell lower-level employees as they will debate morals of eating said melons instead of working. But maybe try egg bars for the time being.
<<<>>>
Department of Nutrition
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION:
The bobblehead of Myrtle Eagan has been recalled. It contains twice the acceptable amount of lead and misc. heavy metals. Your supervisor will collect them and dispose of them in the furnace. Do not touch for more than three seconds total.
TO: ALL
The portrait featuring Kier standing on the mound of Lumon employees will not be removed until the next monthly cycle. We all work to support his vision and values. Think of it as a human pyramid.
In addition – I can recognize your handwriting. There can't be something wrong with every painting. Take a trip to Wellness, buddy.
<<<>>>
Department of Optics and Design
TO: Department of Optics and Design
These picture cards are useless. How is anyone supposed to de-escalate by only punching and kicking? I know you don't work in our department so you lack some specialized knowledge but this is just common sense.
Also, Stewart thinks that the designs aren't 'popping'.
Please redesign immediately with a focus on comforting phrases and non-violent intimidation techniques.
<<<>>>
Department of De-escalation Technique Planning
Is this a Dream?
Assure the trainee that this is not a dream. Ask them to block their nose and attempt to breathe through it. Instruct them to stop if they begin to lose consciousness. If they faint, wait for them to wake up before continuing, as they will be unable to hear you.
TO: Department of Janitorial Arts
BIG MESS pleas help
<<<>>>
Department of Experimental Baking
TO: Department of Experimental Baking
RE: BIG MESS pleas help
On our way. Please send a more professional email next time. You're not the Experimental Spelling and Punctuation Department.
<<<>>>
Department of Janitorial Arts
August 20
Attention ALL Distribution Supply Employees
One of you is consistently misreporting the number of notepads distributed to other departments. The occasional miscount is granted, but this is worrying. Notepads are specifically for taking notes, some of which may attempt to communicate with an Outie. Obviously our systems can detect all patterns and symbols so there is no concern there. It's about paper wastage. We would like to have a talk with the employees found to possess extra notepads.
You may come forward on your own by reporting to the Break Room. In that case, thank you for your compliance. Otherwise, we ask all of you to monitor your fellow distributors. Cross-check your tallies with the employee next to you. Notify your supervisor as soon as an error is spotted.
TO: Administration
Chemical burns are being used to send messages to the Outie (non-literal). The Innie is mutilating himself until the Outie provides him with better work conditions. Recommend less harsh cleaning chemicals for Janitorial.
<<<>>>
Administration
TO: Administration
RE: Chemical Burns
Not advisable. Biological waste must be sanitized/dissolved for OSHA inspections. Skip the Break Room and take him straight to Testing Floor. They're in need of a new subject anyway.
<<<>>>
Administration
Lumon understands Innies are different persons than their Outies. Alternative changes of clothing will be provided to employees determined to be under psychological distress due to mismatch in style or gender.
Clothes will be provided at full cost and at Outies' discretion. Lumon does not offer appearance-altering procedures to Innies.
Janitorial Log No. 477980
DAILY EVENTS:
Scrawled on the halls in pen:
no escape this way. end map here
call O&D for a good time
goat man is a narc!!!
water fountain behind painting? tried it – no good
Written on the wall with sticky mop strings:
RESIST
Note pinned to wall:
Cameras in this area restored. Wall slated for cleaning. Unauthorized wandering will not be tolerated.
Scrubbed, whitewashed, and repinned note.
NOTES:
Other Janitorial employee is now fully trained and can do job on her own. I move to Testing tomorrow. Some other researchers said they also had histories of mutilation. I hope we can heSUPPlpORT each other to esDOcaOURpeJOBS.
TO: Administration
One employee from R&D, Jane D., is immune to the Bad Soap. Do you want to send her up to Testing? If genetic, it could have major applications for the safety of Security personnel.
Also – Happy Halloween :-)
<<<>>>
Department of Detergent and Soaps
TO: Administration
RE: October Subjects
The two new subjects were well recieved! Bad Soap immunity fix is in the works. The Janitorial is especially helpful in adjusting the formula to maximize effects. He has extensive knowledge of chemicals and their reactions with human skin. I think we might have to keep him on our research team!
Anyway, Jane D. is now affected by the Soap, although more emotionally than physically. We'll have another study soon on sensory deprivation – send her back up.
Let us know if you have any more subjects. Don't just send us the naughty ones, either – ask for volunteers! Tell them we're testing out donuts for the vending machines or something. That'll get 'em going.
<<<>>>
Testing
Thank you, Quality Control Employee. Your responses have been logged. Take a five minute break to stretch and fulfil your bodily needs, or a longer break to read and reflect on Kier's musings. Remember to wash your hands before touching the books.