Jay paces back and forth in a tight figure-eight. "I'm– I gotta move. I gotta move."

"Jay, come on. We can fix this."

"No, I'm moving, or– or I'm detransitioning, or both."

"Sorry, you're detransitioning?"

"You saw everyone taking photos of the banner. I can't show my face in public ever again. Get me a razor and some shaving cream. Quick!"

"So you think you can just escape all your problems by dressing up as a woman?"

"It's the only way."

"It's the only way. Okay. Okay, we'll dress you up like a woman," Matt agrees, shaking his head all the while.

"Does this dress look like something a girl would wear?" Matt asks, holding up a floral-print hessian sack.

"Does a dress look like something a girl would wear?"

"I'm asking."

"Yes! Of course."

"Honestly – I don't like your attitude right now. I actually feel like this whole idea is– is transphobic."

"How?"

"You're a man dressing up as a woman. As a disguise. To disguise yourself, and that's not okay."

"Not okay? What's not okay is my penis is out in front of everybody on Queen Street. Kids walk on that street!" Jay whispers. "I'm doing this whether you like it or not."

"Wow."

"Now make yourself useful and buy me lipstick."

"You're so bossy as a woman. No wonder you transitioned."

"Are you sure you wanna go through with this, Bird?"

"Yes. I'm sure. I'm giving up my manhood." Jay reaches inside his skirt, pulls out his packer, and lays it in Matt's hand.

"Oh my God! You tore your penis off?"

"No, it's not attached."

"Oh, okay. That was scary for a second." Matt turns it over, examines it under the fluorescent kitchen lights. "This is pretty nice, huh? I wouldn't give up a penis like this."

"You wouldn't?"

"No way. Tell you what - I wouldn't even be ashamed if everyone in Toronto saw it."

"Matt. I know what you're doing."

"And?"

"It's working. Give me back my dick."

"You want it back now?"

"Yeah."

"You're so indecisive. I actually feel like this is a bad look for trans people as well. Maybe I shouldn't give it back."

"Give it to me."

"No."

"What, you wanna keep it? What are you gonna do with it?"

"Mount it. On the wall, like a trophy catch."

"It was touching my junk, you know."

"Ew." Matt tosses it back.

Jay stuffs it back in his underwear. "That's better. Now, what's our plan with the banner? However nice my penis is to look at, I still think it's bad press."

"All press is good press."

"Some press is bad press."

"Okay. We'll take the banner down, and put it back up when society is ready for it."

"Exactly."

"Hashtag free the penis. That's a good idea for our next plan."

"Let's focus on taking down the banner first."